BELLO!!!

Zenica at Night The village

City of Zenica, Bosnia.

-These pictures are helping me get really pumped up about this internship. I'm feeling a little less overwhelmed by my "homework" and am hoping God really prepares my heart for this!!

________________caitlin

Good evening!

Hello to all.
Today is a beautiful.... snowy day. :) My day today started off very negatively. I woke up feeling very discouraged about a lot of different things involving Bosnia. I got a packet full of a lot of things to do and a couple books I need to read... I felt like it was all just pressing me into the floor. Then my close friend Liz called, also feeling discouraged and it was funny how the advice I was giving her was exactly what I needed to hear. I've been trying really hard to be a better listener when it comes to communicating with God because I've never really tried sitting back and waiting to see what he has to say to me. I prayed yesterday that He could communicate to me in His own unique way and that I wouldn't put im in a box and expect Him to speak to me the same way He speaks to other people. I feel like my conversation with Liz was a perfect example of an answer to this prayer.
I've also been talking to Betsy, she is the leader of our team this summer. We can only communicate through email until I arrive in Bosnia, but Im still really excited to talk with her and I cant wait to hear from the other team members.

Prayer reuquests
-That I won't let the mass amounts of things to be done hinder my growth or relationship with God and I won't get easily stressed about all of it!
-Finances
-For strength as I prepare to leave my family
-For unity within the team thats going over there
- For safe traveling!

Thanks!

Acceptance

Okay... so... I GOT ACCEPTED TO GO TO BOSNIA! Lana from Team Expansion called me today. At first I told her I didn't know and I had to think about it, but then I just looked back through some prayer requests and journal entries and God is totally answering them through this opportunity.
I still have to tell my family... and I have a short period of time to get the support raised. I can tell already that I'm going to learn a lot through this experience... 1st lesson TRUST THAT GOD CAN DO IT!

Keep my in your prayers.

AMORE< me

leading near and far

At times my heart aches and my desire for certain things is overwhelming. It seems though, that I have confused my personal compassion and desire with a direction. The door to Africa has been closed through Team Expansion. I can't deny my dissapointment either. I have been a little discouraged as well, wondering what Gods bigger plan is and hating that fact that I can only see the smaller picture in front of me. There are times where I just want to yell and ask "WHAT IS GOING ON? WHAT IS YOUR PLAN?"
I've always wanted to hide those feelings of frustration towards God's plan, but some light was shed on that feeling in reading psalm 77 and listening to Rob Bell go through the verses. God loves the reality of communication that reveals human emotions such as pain anger and confusion. A prayer is not an adequate prayer if feelings are not being revealed to the Lord through them. He knows our hearts already so by witholding information, God knows we aren't being honest with Him. (DUH! I shoulda known that!).

I just want God to lead me where HE wants me to go.

calm after the storm

It's sort of fun to look back and read past posts. I have gotten so far since my first one. I've gotten so far since the last one! I actually moved from grand rapids to Grand Haven. I am a nanny. I'm taking a light load at school, only 2 clsses this semester and trying very much to concentrate on God and stop denying Him the place in my life that He deserves. Handling stress has become an easier task to say the least. I really feel like getting out of Grand Rapids where I was surrounded by negativity was the best thing I could have done.
So Today I'm sending out my application for Team Expansion!!!!!! I'm applying to go to Tanzania, Africa. I talked to my pastor about things and he talked about sending me to bosnia with Trent and Nikki, missionaries that I met last summer in Croatia. But I think I'm going to wait and see what happens with this application first. If I don't get accepted to Africa, Bosnia was my 2nd choice. That would be really cool to go to Bosnia and be able to see some of the people from Split again! Although... I have no idea where in Bosnia I'de be... anyway pray that I get accepted and all the necessary money will be provided in such a short period of time!

love love CRAZY love