Hollywood.

It's weird to be here right now... In Florida that is.
First of all because of the obvious change in temperature,30s to 80s... yea. That's nice! It's different here though, I didn't remember howdifferent it was. Last time I was in Hollywood I was like 9 years old though.
This is my first spring break too.
And I'm 20.
And I have a tattoo on my arm.
It's only a week old.
And I don't think people really like it.
I love it :)

I have a strong nastalgic feeling being here right now...The smell and the humidity outside remind me of a time Josh and I were on the porch when I lived at the vanhekkens... it was probly this time of year b/c the snow was melting, it was like high 50s outside and there was a ton of fog coming off of the snow.
It was later in the evening, 10 or 11 o'clock.
We just sat on the porch and planned out our lifes.
We prayed.
We marveled in God's presence.
We enjoyed eachother.
I think that will go down as one of my favorite memories of Josh and I. I guess that's part of the problem.. it will just go down as another random memory in my mind. Josh will never be a part of my life again, not like that. Maybe we'll be friends. Maybe not. I may never talk to him again.
So much time... why?
I think I miss him for the first time.
And... now I'm over it ;)
I will admit, sometimes I wish he had been the one.
I'm just afraid to do this again. I know I'm young, and we were only together a short period of time. But so much investment was made.
So many hard times were lulled.
So much baggage was packed.
So many laughs were had.
So many memories were made.
And the damn ring...
I don't think I want a diamond anymore.