I realize more and more every day that no matter how "great" or personable or whatever I am, some times I just don't fit. This weekend has helped me come to this realization and it is bittersweet. I just don't fit with some places, and that's ok. It is bitter for obvious reasons... no one wants to feel like they don't belong. It is hard to look at the people around you and see that they are never going to know you in the same ways that some people do. You don't feel like you can be the real you. It's this strange line you balance. It sweet when you are with the people that do know you. The people that you can be yourself around and love the you that you are. The people that share something with you. Share values, life styles, goals, attitudes, it fits.
My people are the misfits. Once again 3eb said it best.
I try to fight the people I fit with. I try to fight against them because sometimes it's hard to be you, or me. However you want to read that. It's just hard sometimes. So last night I feel asleep with my friends around me. The number was few. But I have spent the day feeling like I want to cry because this summer I will not be with them.
We don't want to grow up.
But we have to grow up.
And it breaks my heart.