adjective: famous or well known, typically for some bad deed or quality. That is the definition of notorious.
I feel that often we, as in my "crew" if you will, are notorious.
Sometimes we are just misunderstood. People don't understand. And they don't take the time to understand. And then sometimes people do take the time to understand... but they run. They don't just slowly back up, it's just all of a sudden they are gone. Even if they aren't literally gone... they are. Nothing is the same. You can feel their absence, even in their presence.
Relationships are painful and stainful. They are beautiful, and they are necessary. Adding life to death, light to dark. But they damage us. They let us down. People let us down. We let people down.
I tried so hard to put my heart out on my sleeve. To uncover it from it's constructed armor. And I felt good for a little bit, knowing God was stretching me.
I'm back to keeping it under lock down. It's just too much right now.
We are too fragile.
Emotions are not something to be taken lightly or to be toyed with. Hearts are not fun things to throw around. You don't cause unpleasant situations digging for a reaction.
You love others how you want to be loved.
And I want to be loved genuinely.
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