leading near and far

At times my heart aches and my desire for certain things is overwhelming. It seems though, that I have confused my personal compassion and desire with a direction. The door to Africa has been closed through Team Expansion. I can't deny my dissapointment either. I have been a little discouraged as well, wondering what Gods bigger plan is and hating that fact that I can only see the smaller picture in front of me. There are times where I just want to yell and ask "WHAT IS GOING ON? WHAT IS YOUR PLAN?"
I've always wanted to hide those feelings of frustration towards God's plan, but some light was shed on that feeling in reading psalm 77 and listening to Rob Bell go through the verses. God loves the reality of communication that reveals human emotions such as pain anger and confusion. A prayer is not an adequate prayer if feelings are not being revealed to the Lord through them. He knows our hearts already so by witholding information, God knows we aren't being honest with Him. (DUH! I shoulda known that!).

I just want God to lead me where HE wants me to go.

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