time and time again

I refuse to start this entry with "It's been a while since I last wrote..." Because it's just obvious that it HAS been a while.
I will make no attempt to catch you up to speed. "You" being whoever it is that reads this thing. So Jamee and Ben :) haha. I feel this sense of guilt when I come back from a hiatus and don't have a synopsis of the time lapse. Strange. I feel like I owe something to the world wide web.

I am very sore... My chiropractor has been hurting/helping me. I'm not sure what to do better... but I'm hoping that this begins to make me feel right again. At least physically.
Today was actually a wonderful day. I went to the UICA (Urban Institute of Contemporary Arts) where my amazing internship is and ate some cake for a co-worker's birthday. Pretended I had lots to do as the Arts Administration Intern (although I was quite bored...) and then left to go babysit and sat outside reading and spending time with God most of the 3 hours I was there. I left feeling well, had an encouraging conversation with Ben and I went grocery shopping and came home and prepared food for the week. Seems normal.

Then suddenly I just felt heavy. Sore. Annoyed. Angry. Frustrated. Everything all at once. My room mate came home and I was flooded with negativity. Flooded. I didn't know what to do about it, I tried to fight it off. I cleaned. I did laundry. I read. nothing... So I ran (literally.) I went running at 11pm. It seemed like the smartest idea, and all in all it was. I felt somewhat better when I got back. But while I ran, I felt myself wishing I could run from the place I am now. Which, mind you, is not even a bad place. Literally OR figuratively. I feel at peace with where I am, but at that moment of running all I could do was cry and wish I could run anywhere else.
I feel lonely. Too many transitions. Someday I will stay in one place... and on top of that I really enjoyed living with my sister. It was crazy there, kind of stressful 98% of the time, but nice. I miss living with her, and kind of feel sad things played out how they did with living situations. Leave it to a legitimately crazy guy to complicate her/our lives.

I don't really have a lot to say right now... I guess I just felt that I needed to write and see if anything helpful came out of it. Writing is therapeutic. It feels good most of the time. So much has been going on the last few months... it's a whirlwind. I hope to get back into the swing of things and write more about nothing and also about everything.

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