I went home monday night and stayed until tuesday evening. I spend the whole time hannging out with my family and old friends, catching up and laughing hysterically. I feel really blessed by the time I got to spend at home. I saw so many people that used to be such a huge part of my life!! It was nuts the way I ran into people. And all day tuesday was spend with my two best girlfriends from high school and we laughed and cried and acted like crazy people the whole day. It was so perfect, I love those girls so much.
Anyway now i'm back in grand haven. I was supposed to spend time with some friends last night but was just so exhausted and feeling a little overwhelmed by the amount of things that still need to be done so I actually went to bed. What an amazing concept, bed. haha. I never go to sleep on time and I regret it EVERY day.
On a side note... plans for my life have changed, yet again. I found out yesterday that I got accepted to indiana wesleyan for the fall term. I wasn't expecting to get accepted or hear from them before I left but apparently I was accepted the 19th, no one contacted me until yesterday though. So weird. So I am just going to roll with it. I was a little confused at what God's plan for me was and if this was an answer to prayer or a really random occurance and a friend gave me a better way to look at the whole situation tell me that God doesnt have only one road for me to walk and if i miss one turn then I'm just left hanging, but that He will bless me and work in my life no matter where I am as long as I'm persuing him and then she added, plus why wouldn't He want you to be at Indiana Wesleyan? haha.. so I'm going to fill out my housing form today and get that sent in along with my tuition deposit. pray for provision!
I leave for bosnia in 4 days. FOUR DAYS WHAT?!
5.24.2006
5.22.2006
Quick Sand
Well... it's finally sinking in that I'm going to Bosnia for the summer. It's weird how you make plans to do something like this and you spend months preparing and raising money yet you still don't really feel like you're leaving until... a couple of days before you're really going. It's so strange! So it is starting to sink in a little, more because I've started packing. I have so much to do in the next week it's going to be really crazy. Pray that I get everything done that needs to be done and I don't stress out a ton.
I was asked this weekend what my long term goal of this summer program was. I had to think for a minute, but I quickly realized that I am more excited about what God is going to be doing here at my home and in my community. Don't get me wrong, I'm really excited to see how God moves in the villages I'll be working in- but I feel like He will do just as much, if not more, in the lives of the people around me every day that don't know Him as their Lord and savior yet. I've made a commitment to pray HARD every day for my family. I try to do that now, but I get so lazy and I dont have any kind of a routine. I know that we will have a required "quiet time" every day which is perfect becuase I really want a consistant time.
It's so easy to be complacent with you life and just settle for the relationship you have with the Lord if you don't have to work for it. I can't go around professing my faith to every person i interact with over seas and I feel like since I have to be somewhat "undercover" that it will give me a greater appreciation for faith.
I'm just so looking forward to see God and growing so much in my relationship with Him this summer. I love that total "on fire" feeling you have when you're pulled away from your normal atmosphere and put into one with a small group of people with the same faith as you. It's empowering in a way.
Anyway, I leave on sunday the 28th. Please pray for safe travels and while I'm gone, just pray for my family.
I was asked this weekend what my long term goal of this summer program was. I had to think for a minute, but I quickly realized that I am more excited about what God is going to be doing here at my home and in my community. Don't get me wrong, I'm really excited to see how God moves in the villages I'll be working in- but I feel like He will do just as much, if not more, in the lives of the people around me every day that don't know Him as their Lord and savior yet. I've made a commitment to pray HARD every day for my family. I try to do that now, but I get so lazy and I dont have any kind of a routine. I know that we will have a required "quiet time" every day which is perfect becuase I really want a consistant time.
It's so easy to be complacent with you life and just settle for the relationship you have with the Lord if you don't have to work for it. I can't go around professing my faith to every person i interact with over seas and I feel like since I have to be somewhat "undercover" that it will give me a greater appreciation for faith.
I'm just so looking forward to see God and growing so much in my relationship with Him this summer. I love that total "on fire" feeling you have when you're pulled away from your normal atmosphere and put into one with a small group of people with the same faith as you. It's empowering in a way.
Anyway, I leave on sunday the 28th. Please pray for safe travels and while I'm gone, just pray for my family.
5.17.2006
Encouraging the weak
My heart is breaking right now... I cried over a person that I don't even know. Just relating to their situation, knowing exactly what it is they have been though... I took their situation and the discouraging remarks against them very personal. Maybe it's not healthy to take things so personal, but I really feel like God was moving, stiring me up.
I'm really passionate about people who are searching. People who are there, they know that it's God they need to seek and they want Him, they want to please Him, but are still weak and end up taking two steps back for every step forward. I know those people, I was one of those people and I love it when God puts them in my life because I feel like I can encourage them from experience. So many people discorage though. So many christians discourage those who are tyring to walk with God, those who are in the beginning of their faith and fall a little more than others. I just want to cry out to those who are placing the judgement- We should be rejoicing in this situation!! Someone who has been under the hand of satan for so long is changing course! Your brother or sister is coming to their Lord. Rejoice instead of judge! Encourage them! Walk with them! Be an example and a leader! Greet them with love as Christ would.
So many times though, people are judged for the poor decisions made in their past. It's just so real for me because I have been in the place where people could either take me seriously or they could look back at my actions and say I'm fake. I've struggled out of satans grasp and ended up in the hands of christians who, in so many words, told me to go back where I came from.
How is that going to build God's kingdom? How is that going to bring in our generation? So many people have been down the paths of drugs and alcohol and sex and lies. It's common, it's cool. So why aren't we trying harder to love on those people rather than make them feel like less because of the life they once lived? Didn't God promise them the same thing He promised everyone else? Did we suddenly forget that we are a community of CHRIST? Not a community of defeat. I pray so hard that we all will try harder than anything to accept people for who they are and with whatever baggage they are bringing with them because no matter WHAT awful things a person has gone through, no matter how many people they have hurt, no matter what lies they have told, no matter what road they walked... God is going to use those experiences for His glory and we should be welcoming any and every new christian with open and loving arms.
romans 12:
1Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. 2One man's faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. 3The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. 4Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.
I'm really passionate about people who are searching. People who are there, they know that it's God they need to seek and they want Him, they want to please Him, but are still weak and end up taking two steps back for every step forward. I know those people, I was one of those people and I love it when God puts them in my life because I feel like I can encourage them from experience. So many people discorage though. So many christians discourage those who are tyring to walk with God, those who are in the beginning of their faith and fall a little more than others. I just want to cry out to those who are placing the judgement- We should be rejoicing in this situation!! Someone who has been under the hand of satan for so long is changing course! Your brother or sister is coming to their Lord. Rejoice instead of judge! Encourage them! Walk with them! Be an example and a leader! Greet them with love as Christ would.
So many times though, people are judged for the poor decisions made in their past. It's just so real for me because I have been in the place where people could either take me seriously or they could look back at my actions and say I'm fake. I've struggled out of satans grasp and ended up in the hands of christians who, in so many words, told me to go back where I came from.
How is that going to build God's kingdom? How is that going to bring in our generation? So many people have been down the paths of drugs and alcohol and sex and lies. It's common, it's cool. So why aren't we trying harder to love on those people rather than make them feel like less because of the life they once lived? Didn't God promise them the same thing He promised everyone else? Did we suddenly forget that we are a community of CHRIST? Not a community of defeat. I pray so hard that we all will try harder than anything to accept people for who they are and with whatever baggage they are bringing with them because no matter WHAT awful things a person has gone through, no matter how many people they have hurt, no matter what lies they have told, no matter what road they walked... God is going to use those experiences for His glory and we should be welcoming any and every new christian with open and loving arms.
romans 12:
1Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. 2One man's faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. 3The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. 4Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.
5.16.2006
5.15.2006
It's all in.................
Today is the deadline for me $4250. Now let me tell you that on Friday when I found out I had about $600 left, I was getting a little nervous- my faith was definetly being tested. On saturday i went into my work to see if the owner of the store might support me a little.. I had literally missed him by 3 minutes. The people of the store also told me I was crazy to ask him for money so I left a little discouraged. Later that night though, one of my friends gave me a check for $213. I was really excited and moved to see God's provision from such a strange place!!! The next day nothing came and I was going through my personal financial situation trying to figure out how to take the rest of the money out of my pocket. Well today, the deadline(!), I got a phone call from Josh's mom. She asked me how much money I had left to raise and i told her- she told me not to worry about it, she would write a check for the remainder of the money. Okay... now if that's not amazing I don't know what is!
I'm just so grateful for how the money was provided in the end so quickly, especially for my family because they doubted and they didn't believe in the power of prayer- but I can tell them now that it came and it came ON TIME and I really hope that they will see that is was all God and He provided it for me. I really hope that it will begin to show them how big He really is!
So now i'm going to Bosnia for sure :)
I will be leaving on the 28th of May, in one week and 6 days. It's just so cool how God has allowed things to fall into place so perfectly at the last minute. Even my family is all coming to drop me off in Kentucky for training... it's just such an amazing day!
Rejoice!!
I'm just so grateful for how the money was provided in the end so quickly, especially for my family because they doubted and they didn't believe in the power of prayer- but I can tell them now that it came and it came ON TIME and I really hope that they will see that is was all God and He provided it for me. I really hope that it will begin to show them how big He really is!
So now i'm going to Bosnia for sure :)
I will be leaving on the 28th of May, in one week and 6 days. It's just so cool how God has allowed things to fall into place so perfectly at the last minute. Even my family is all coming to drop me off in Kentucky for training... it's just such an amazing day!
Rejoice!!
5.07.2006
PROVISION!!!
So the Lord has so graciously provided us a house to live in this summer :) This is the most beatiful house too! (Maybe it's just because im really excited about it, but its nice!)
It's surrounded by foilage (!) So its a little hard to get a picture of apparently, but its exciting that we have a place to stay.
3.12.2006
Outdoor Adventures
This week has been a huge blessing. I've been reminded of God's awesomeness, His glory, His power so much simply through His creations. The weather has been a huge blessing, I love how it just lifts people's moods and puts an excitement in the air. Also with the rain... I've always been a wuss about thunderstorms, but on one occasion earlier this week Josh and I were standing outside watching the rain. It was so beautiful though because the snow was still on the ground and with the warm weather and the rain it created this peaceful fog. Josh and I just stood outside listening to it and commenting on how the little things like this are what keep people going when life is so busy and things just aren't falling into place and basically just when life happens. God reveals himself to you through these times of peace and beauty.
I also have a praise reguarding fund raising. As of Friday there are $686 dollars in. $105 of that was raised at Jumpin Java! Some friends put on a little "benefit concert" and played guitar and sang for a few hours to get some recognition on what;s going to be happeneing this summer in Zenica. I didn't put up posters or anything because it was all kinda last minute so I wasn't expecting much turn out. But God totally stepped in and provided the money (almost all in $1 bills too!!). So I thank everyone who gave and were there to support Bosnia Friday!!!!
A few prayer requests:
--Pray that God will remove all anxiousness from me. I'm getting antsy about being here in the US any longer... I'm just really excited to go to Bosnia, and if I had my way, I would do nothing but work towards getting there. But I have school and a job and commitments, so please pray that God will take care of the little things that could fog my focus and allow me to see the necessary steps in this process and not try to skip what is vital to the experience.
--Continue to pray for support from my family I want them to be as excited as I am and continue to ask questions. This is a huge opportunity for me to witness to them. I want nothing more than for my family to come to know Christ as their Lord and Savior!
--Pray for finances for me and my team mates. Pray that we all will seek guidance in any opportunity to raise funds and that we won't lose sight of the reason for this trip. It's hard sometimes in raising finances because a lot of self promotion is going on, but it's not all about us-it's about the people that we are going to touch and the experiences and the country we're serving in. It's about God and giving Him the glory and the honor and the praise that He deserves!
also, if anyone has questions, comments, things I can pray for, or just wants to get ahold of me. my email is camaha@sbcglobal.net
Thanks
-caitlin
I also have a praise reguarding fund raising. As of Friday there are $686 dollars in. $105 of that was raised at Jumpin Java! Some friends put on a little "benefit concert" and played guitar and sang for a few hours to get some recognition on what;s going to be happeneing this summer in Zenica. I didn't put up posters or anything because it was all kinda last minute so I wasn't expecting much turn out. But God totally stepped in and provided the money (almost all in $1 bills too!!). So I thank everyone who gave and were there to support Bosnia Friday!!!!
A few prayer requests:
--Pray that God will remove all anxiousness from me. I'm getting antsy about being here in the US any longer... I'm just really excited to go to Bosnia, and if I had my way, I would do nothing but work towards getting there. But I have school and a job and commitments, so please pray that God will take care of the little things that could fog my focus and allow me to see the necessary steps in this process and not try to skip what is vital to the experience.
--Continue to pray for support from my family I want them to be as excited as I am and continue to ask questions. This is a huge opportunity for me to witness to them. I want nothing more than for my family to come to know Christ as their Lord and Savior!
--Pray for finances for me and my team mates. Pray that we all will seek guidance in any opportunity to raise funds and that we won't lose sight of the reason for this trip. It's hard sometimes in raising finances because a lot of self promotion is going on, but it's not all about us-it's about the people that we are going to touch and the experiences and the country we're serving in. It's about God and giving Him the glory and the honor and the praise that He deserves!
also, if anyone has questions, comments, things I can pray for, or just wants to get ahold of me. my email is camaha@sbcglobal.net
Thanks
-caitlin
3.06.2006
A song
David Crowder: Stars
You should see the stars tonight
How they shimmer shine so bright
Against the black they look so white
Coming down from such a height
To reach me now
You reach me now
You should see the moon in flight
Cutting ‘cross the misty night
Softly dancing in sunshine
Reflections of its light
Reach me now
You reach me now
And how could such a thing
Shine its light on me
And make everything
Beautiful again
And you should feel the sun in spring
Coming out after a rain
Suddenly all is green
Sunshine on everything
I can feel it now
I feel You now
And you should hear the angels sing
All gathered ‘round their King
More beautiful than you could dream
I’ve been quietly listening
You can hear ‘em now
I hear them now
And how could such a King
Shine His light on me
And make everything
Beautiful
And I want to shine
I want to be light
I want to tell you
It’ll be alright
Yeah, I want to shine
And I want to fly
Just to tell you now
It’ll be alright
It’ll be alright, yeah
It’ll be alright
Cause I’ve got nothing of my own
To give to you
But this light that shines on me
Shines on you
And make everything
Beautiful, again
It’ll be alright
It’ll be alright
You should see the stars tonight
How they shimmer shine so bright
Against the black they look so white
Coming down from such a height
To reach me now
You reach me now
You should see the moon in flight
Cutting ‘cross the misty night
Softly dancing in sunshine
Reflections of its light
Reach me now
You reach me now
And how could such a thing
Shine its light on me
And make everything
Beautiful again
And you should feel the sun in spring
Coming out after a rain
Suddenly all is green
Sunshine on everything
I can feel it now
I feel You now
And you should hear the angels sing
All gathered ‘round their King
More beautiful than you could dream
I’ve been quietly listening
You can hear ‘em now
I hear them now
And how could such a King
Shine His light on me
And make everything
Beautiful
And I want to shine
I want to be light
I want to tell you
It’ll be alright
Yeah, I want to shine
And I want to fly
Just to tell you now
It’ll be alright
It’ll be alright, yeah
It’ll be alright
Cause I’ve got nothing of my own
To give to you
But this light that shines on me
Shines on you
And make everything
Beautiful, again
It’ll be alright
It’ll be alright
3.03.2006
FUNdamentals are the building blocks of FUN
Things have been going really well. The weather is BEAUTIFUL (crazy for Michigan!) we finally get to see the sun consistantly :) I feel like the holy spirit has been extremely present in my life the past few days, more so than normal anyway. I've been building on some important relationships with friends here and also begining new relationships with the people I will be with overseas. I feel as though I can say God has blessed this team with some AWESOME people. (at least in my opinon!) I haven't heard any news back on where I am with raising funds, but my team mate Heather gave me this awesome analogy
*God owns all the money in the world and He has this huge funnel that allows Him to dispurse as much as He wants, where He wants, in any amount of time.*
I've heard it a million times, but it's so cool to have that visual of God with this huge funnel, stuffing it with dollar bills... haha.
My mom's surgery went VERY well. So Praise for that! She's a little groggy and sore, but good overall. My parents have been pretty helpful in the whole process of me getting ready to go. My dad did a bunch of insurance stuff for me and my moms all excited about taking me shopping to get all the necessities. It's fun to see that they really want to help me be prepared!!
Thanks for all your prayer support!
More requests!!
*Continued financial and prayer support for all team members
*Lots of opportunities for our team to communicate before we meet in May!
*no stress while we all prepare. The times before the trip are always the most stressful!
*That we all use this time wisely and get CLOSER to God, not farther apart due to all the hustle and bustle of our daily lives
* Pray for the families and people in Bosnia that we will come in contact with, that God will prepare their hearts and use us to change lives.
*God owns all the money in the world and He has this huge funnel that allows Him to dispurse as much as He wants, where He wants, in any amount of time.*
I've heard it a million times, but it's so cool to have that visual of God with this huge funnel, stuffing it with dollar bills... haha.
My mom's surgery went VERY well. So Praise for that! She's a little groggy and sore, but good overall. My parents have been pretty helpful in the whole process of me getting ready to go. My dad did a bunch of insurance stuff for me and my moms all excited about taking me shopping to get all the necessities. It's fun to see that they really want to help me be prepared!!
Thanks for all your prayer support!
More requests!!
*Continued financial and prayer support for all team members
*Lots of opportunities for our team to communicate before we meet in May!
*no stress while we all prepare. The times before the trip are always the most stressful!
*That we all use this time wisely and get CLOSER to God, not farther apart due to all the hustle and bustle of our daily lives
* Pray for the families and people in Bosnia that we will come in contact with, that God will prepare their hearts and use us to change lives.
3.01.2006
Rainbows
Today I had the delight of waking up at 7:30. (Most of you who know me know I am NOT a morning person!) But I had to watch the kids so I was awake.
I was sitting at the table eating cereal and had little carson yelling "tay tay COME ON!" over and over. I told him to wait, but apparently 2 year olds don't understand what waiting means when they're excited! ;) So I went to the living room with him and kaitlyn and they were looking out the window at the sunrise. It was so colorful they were convinced it was a rainbow. I told them it was the sun, but kaitlyn said "but look at all the colors, that's a rainbow". I didn't argue anymore, I just looked out the window with them- all 3 of us in awe of the colors.
It was such a nice reminder of God and His creations.
--Caitlin
I was sitting at the table eating cereal and had little carson yelling "tay tay COME ON!" over and over. I told him to wait, but apparently 2 year olds don't understand what waiting means when they're excited! ;) So I went to the living room with him and kaitlyn and they were looking out the window at the sunrise. It was so colorful they were convinced it was a rainbow. I told them it was the sun, but kaitlyn said "but look at all the colors, that's a rainbow". I didn't argue anymore, I just looked out the window with them- all 3 of us in awe of the colors.
It was such a nice reminder of God and His creations.
--Caitlin
2.27.2006
BELLO!!!
Zenica at Night The village
City of Zenica, Bosnia.
-These pictures are helping me get really pumped up about this internship. I'm feeling a little less overwhelmed by my "homework" and am hoping God really prepares my heart for this!!
________________caitlin
Good evening!
Hello to all.
Today is a beautiful.... snowy day. :) My day today started off very negatively. I woke up feeling very discouraged about a lot of different things involving Bosnia. I got a packet full of a lot of things to do and a couple books I need to read... I felt like it was all just pressing me into the floor. Then my close friend Liz called, also feeling discouraged and it was funny how the advice I was giving her was exactly what I needed to hear. I've been trying really hard to be a better listener when it comes to communicating with God because I've never really tried sitting back and waiting to see what he has to say to me. I prayed yesterday that He could communicate to me in His own unique way and that I wouldn't put im in a box and expect Him to speak to me the same way He speaks to other people. I feel like my conversation with Liz was a perfect example of an answer to this prayer.
I've also been talking to Betsy, she is the leader of our team this summer. We can only communicate through email until I arrive in Bosnia, but Im still really excited to talk with her and I cant wait to hear from the other team members.
Prayer reuquests
-That I won't let the mass amounts of things to be done hinder my growth or relationship with God and I won't get easily stressed about all of it!
-Finances
-For strength as I prepare to leave my family
-For unity within the team thats going over there
- For safe traveling!
Thanks!
Today is a beautiful.... snowy day. :) My day today started off very negatively. I woke up feeling very discouraged about a lot of different things involving Bosnia. I got a packet full of a lot of things to do and a couple books I need to read... I felt like it was all just pressing me into the floor. Then my close friend Liz called, also feeling discouraged and it was funny how the advice I was giving her was exactly what I needed to hear. I've been trying really hard to be a better listener when it comes to communicating with God because I've never really tried sitting back and waiting to see what he has to say to me. I prayed yesterday that He could communicate to me in His own unique way and that I wouldn't put im in a box and expect Him to speak to me the same way He speaks to other people. I feel like my conversation with Liz was a perfect example of an answer to this prayer.
I've also been talking to Betsy, she is the leader of our team this summer. We can only communicate through email until I arrive in Bosnia, but Im still really excited to talk with her and I cant wait to hear from the other team members.
Prayer reuquests
-That I won't let the mass amounts of things to be done hinder my growth or relationship with God and I won't get easily stressed about all of it!
-Finances
-For strength as I prepare to leave my family
-For unity within the team thats going over there
- For safe traveling!
Thanks!
2.20.2006
Acceptance
Okay... so... I GOT ACCEPTED TO GO TO BOSNIA! Lana from Team Expansion called me today. At first I told her I didn't know and I had to think about it, but then I just looked back through some prayer requests and journal entries and God is totally answering them through this opportunity.
I still have to tell my family... and I have a short period of time to get the support raised. I can tell already that I'm going to learn a lot through this experience... 1st lesson TRUST THAT GOD CAN DO IT!
Keep my in your prayers.
AMORE< me
I still have to tell my family... and I have a short period of time to get the support raised. I can tell already that I'm going to learn a lot through this experience... 1st lesson TRUST THAT GOD CAN DO IT!
Keep my in your prayers.
AMORE< me
2.15.2006
leading near and far
At times my heart aches and my desire for certain things is overwhelming. It seems though, that I have confused my personal compassion and desire with a direction. The door to Africa has been closed through Team Expansion. I can't deny my dissapointment either. I have been a little discouraged as well, wondering what Gods bigger plan is and hating that fact that I can only see the smaller picture in front of me. There are times where I just want to yell and ask "WHAT IS GOING ON? WHAT IS YOUR PLAN?"
I've always wanted to hide those feelings of frustration towards God's plan, but some light was shed on that feeling in reading psalm 77 and listening to Rob Bell go through the verses. God loves the reality of communication that reveals human emotions such as pain anger and confusion. A prayer is not an adequate prayer if feelings are not being revealed to the Lord through them. He knows our hearts already so by witholding information, God knows we aren't being honest with Him. (DUH! I shoulda known that!).
I just want God to lead me where HE wants me to go.
I've always wanted to hide those feelings of frustration towards God's plan, but some light was shed on that feeling in reading psalm 77 and listening to Rob Bell go through the verses. God loves the reality of communication that reveals human emotions such as pain anger and confusion. A prayer is not an adequate prayer if feelings are not being revealed to the Lord through them. He knows our hearts already so by witholding information, God knows we aren't being honest with Him. (DUH! I shoulda known that!).
I just want God to lead me where HE wants me to go.
2.04.2006
calm after the storm
It's sort of fun to look back and read past posts. I have gotten so far since my first one. I've gotten so far since the last one! I actually moved from grand rapids to Grand Haven. I am a nanny. I'm taking a light load at school, only 2 clsses this semester and trying very much to concentrate on God and stop denying Him the place in my life that He deserves. Handling stress has become an easier task to say the least. I really feel like getting out of Grand Rapids where I was surrounded by negativity was the best thing I could have done.
So Today I'm sending out my application for Team Expansion!!!!!! I'm applying to go to Tanzania, Africa. I talked to my pastor about things and he talked about sending me to bosnia with Trent and Nikki, missionaries that I met last summer in Croatia. But I think I'm going to wait and see what happens with this application first. If I don't get accepted to Africa, Bosnia was my 2nd choice. That would be really cool to go to Bosnia and be able to see some of the people from Split again! Although... I have no idea where in Bosnia I'de be... anyway pray that I get accepted and all the necessary money will be provided in such a short period of time!
love love CRAZY love
So Today I'm sending out my application for Team Expansion!!!!!! I'm applying to go to Tanzania, Africa. I talked to my pastor about things and he talked about sending me to bosnia with Trent and Nikki, missionaries that I met last summer in Croatia. But I think I'm going to wait and see what happens with this application first. If I don't get accepted to Africa, Bosnia was my 2nd choice. That would be really cool to go to Bosnia and be able to see some of the people from Split again! Although... I have no idea where in Bosnia I'de be... anyway pray that I get accepted and all the necessary money will be provided in such a short period of time!
love love CRAZY love
12.11.2005
love love love
If only things made sense.....!
God I thank you for constantly reminding me that you are in control. I willingly accept humility throughout my experiences because in the end, it's adding to my growing relationship with you God. I pray you would continue to reveal yourself to me, especially in times of confusion and stress.
11.06.2005
Pictures galore
This is just a picture to show the gorgeous foliage
You can see this fire truck pic hanging in the lobby of the Plainfield fire department.
Some of these may look a little off register, it's because I have to take pictures of the pictures and I have to angle the lens so I don't get a flash reflection. But this is a small piece of my portfolio. They are a little darker on here than in real life as well. The picture of the street, the little boy and the crazy wide angle shot of the jungle gym all have more detail in real life. It's impossible to take a picture of a picture... maybe I should try a scanner??
*Thank you Lord for my creativity.
10.16.2005
Part one of a parallel universe
part I
As I fell asleep he said:
Close your eyes, don't be afraid.
They'll never understand.
Why?
I said.
I said.
You're not like them.
He Said.
I have to find out.
I said.
You don't.
He said.
What will it prove?
-
That I am my own.
I said.
I'm taking a road trip. I said before I want to move out west, I think I'm going to visit it first. I'm thinking Montana. I have a friend that resides there and he keeps commenting that no one is going to visit him. Well my friend, I love driving and I love adventures even more than love so I will venture to Montana. I might have to do it alone, which is great because I'm in no hurry to get there or back and I don't care what happens in between. I refuse to spend a dime on a hotel though. Sleeping bags, long johns and a mixture of my car and a tent will do perfectly (I hope). I can't wait. I really hope it all works out.
Other than that latest update life is pretty grand. It's all a blur right now, I spend so much time on campus I'm thinking of taking up residency in a closet. Between there and my job... theres little time for much else. It's a little bit of a struggle, I put a lot of imprtant things on the back burner. God is one of those, I need to learn some time management. It's almost over though. It's only with His help that I'm even making it through right now.
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I'm going to go enjoy the next few hours behind the lens on my picture date with Liz.
"chow darlings"
"chow darlings"
10.08.2005
That's Amore
There's something going around. Some kind of epidemic that causes me to feel whole and completely at one with the universe. ;) It's uniquely invigorating the way God works in us.
I'm getting ready to spend another night toiling away kissing people's feet. I feel I've mastered the art of charm. All in a days work... I should be grateful waiting on people and being a servant. I am grateful for having a job and being able to make money, but sometimes it's just too much.
I've changed my mind again and decided I really want to go out west to live. I'm thinking Montana or New Mexico. You never hear of anyone saying they want to move to New Mexico. I'll start the trend. Quite honestly I forget it's one of the 50 states. But I'm ready for a change in scenery and I need to escape the bittersweetness (is that a real word?) of my comfort zone a.k.a.: Grand Rapids.
"When the moon meets your eye like a big pizza pie... That's amore." _Moonstruck.
LOVE love Crazy love.
I miss you Croatia!
*Thank you Lord for being a God of opportunity. I am grateful for a source of income and the opportunity to be able to get up and go wherever you are leading me in life.*
7.17.2005
A Sestina
a Sestina:
You stare at me with that floolish grin
Connecting with my soul.
Your eyes inundate with love
For me while you sit poised in your supreme daze.
Your hands strategically placed
On your divine chiseled face.
I collapse when you graze my face
But can't conceal my tiny grin.
Perfectly placed
In this moment together- as one united soul.
One life. Is this a daze?
What is this love?
We are mechanized for love.
We long for the face of something we see only in a daze
So submarine we are engulfed by our grin.
Wondering as we search our own soul
If ever this love will be placed.
We are placed
Within the gut of love;
Of ourselves, our soul.
To love one another, we have to relish our face
And be able to grin
Despite past days.
So you arise from your daze,
Your poise no longer placed
Perfectly with your foolish grin,
Though I still envision the love
Because it's written all over your face;
Tangled in your soul.
I am tangled as well, my soul
That is. Still counting the days
Until I again see your face.
Then you will be placed
In this moment of love;
And of course there's that grin.
I soon will face the pain of my searching soul.
Meanwhile, I'll grin, as I live in a daze,
Pretending your hand is placed in mine and we are in
Love.
You stare at me with that floolish grin
Connecting with my soul.
Your eyes inundate with love
For me while you sit poised in your supreme daze.
Your hands strategically placed
On your divine chiseled face.
I collapse when you graze my face
But can't conceal my tiny grin.
Perfectly placed
In this moment together- as one united soul.
One life. Is this a daze?
What is this love?
We are mechanized for love.
We long for the face of something we see only in a daze
So submarine we are engulfed by our grin.
Wondering as we search our own soul
If ever this love will be placed.
We are placed
Within the gut of love;
Of ourselves, our soul.
To love one another, we have to relish our face
And be able to grin
Despite past days.
So you arise from your daze,
Your poise no longer placed
Perfectly with your foolish grin,
Though I still envision the love
Because it's written all over your face;
Tangled in your soul.
I am tangled as well, my soul
That is. Still counting the days
Until I again see your face.
Then you will be placed
In this moment of love;
And of course there's that grin.
I soon will face the pain of my searching soul.
Meanwhile, I'll grin, as I live in a daze,
Pretending your hand is placed in mine and we are in
Love.
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